Remember back in high school? back when every little thing mattered so much cause what else do you have to worry about when you don't have student loans and a vehicle you don't like all that much you'll be paying to much money for for the next 5 years. there is this strange coincidental occurrences that a lot of us all seem to experience frequently. somehow television and the songs on the radio would align so perfectly with our pissy little plights we would have to question briefly if we had some mass psychic influence on the media or some such nonsense. Never mind the fact that the music we listened to constatly was the top 40 hits garbage and it was all just rehashes of the same vague BS that could be applied just as easily to doing chores or homework (who really did their homework at home? or for that matter who really did all that much?)
Bam. Real world hits you and you stop being such a self absorbed cunt. you learn that sometimes life is just wierd and you forget that those kinds of things ever happened. that red headed actress with the cute semi raspy voice, said it better in that movie she did, Easy A. check it out sometime its actually good and she is also pretty fun to look at lol.
I wonder if there is a connection to be self absorbed and noticing shit like that. probably. which is not good since i'm noticing it all over the place.
Lately I've been being a bit conceded and acting like a dick because it works really great on girls that haven't grown up yet and well look where it's gotten me... nearly cheating on someone, ignoring a nice girl who deserved better, humiliating an ex (that was fun actually), and flaunting all of it to people close to me like its stuff worth being proud of. how far the honest have fallen.
Is this what new found confidence has brought me to? Am i simply acting out for attention on some subconscious level i don't recognize. Is this healthy? Will i stop anytime soon?
Why do i bother to ask when i already know. like everyone else, excluding of course many of the mental patients around the world, i choose exactly how i will respond to a given stimulus.
Fuck it, i don't need to grow up for a while longer yet.